Politics, that is. Especially as of late, I feel that my life has been embroiled by it. I am getting at that age where I really think that it is important for me to start paying attention to it. But all I can hear is “BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO POOP”.

I don’t know why anyone would be interested in this shit, it’s more irritating than Jersey Shore… and that’s bad.

Anyway, I started this post with a thought: “I hate super-conservatives even more than I hate super-liberals which must mean I am a liberal.” But  now that doesn’t seem to go well with the rest of this post. I think instead I shall just ignore any sort of life outside of mine own and continue making fancy cups of tea.

Mmmmm. Tea.

So… I have decided that I have problems with Christians who are trying to ‘prove a point’. Granted, I have a few opinions on faith and the concept of faith in its entirety; but I do not have any trouble letting people subscribing to a belief set that is completely different from my own. And I have no problem with people who understand their faith from a different perspective from me.

What I do have a problem with are those people who are convinced of  religious ‘infallible’s. Things that are certain, and true without any proof besides the religious writings ‘I-told-you-so’s. My beliefs and dis-beliefs aside, I would like to have a standing criticism of my wanna-be-preacher-facebook-friends.

I see that your faith has so moved you to proclaim to the world at large that you are a staunch believer of the epic healing power of the cosmos. Good job. God bless. All that jazz.  But really… don’t you think it’s obnoxious to have religious debates (or any kind of debates for that matter) with people on your public facebook feed? And are you so palpably uninspired that the webcoms and memes of the general public (also as dumb as you who feed it) aw you so profoundly that you must re-tweet someone else’s opinion without putting a lick of effort into expressing it in your own words?

I’m not saying you should paraphrase every quote or re-write every inspiring article. But at what stage do the words you say reflect on something you have pondered rather than something someone else has downloaded into your brain?

And: If you had put it up for public display, why wouldn’t you be up for public debate? Obviously your opinions will differ from others opinions– you can’t put something there with the mindset that you in your grandeur will single-handedly lead the opinions of the mass hundred that follow your facebook feed (unless you’re the pope… the pope is allowed to think that his opinions will sway the perspective of millions….).

Be open to debate, and be open to having your mind change, or keep your accusations/ assertions/ ignorance to yourself.

Actually…. screw that, I don’t care what your religious standards are– putting up justifications as to  how and why you judge others on your facebook is just distasteful (and honestly… a little weird).  Be like a normal person and go talk to someone about the mysteries of life. Or start a blog. Really.

Facebook?

ugh.

“I suggest you go back and read what the Bible has to say about that, J–” Pompus prick… I have read the bible– cover to cover. Nowhere in there does God ever say ‘thou shall go out and post as many internet memes about me on your facebook so we can bolster our image as the perfect religion.’ (At least I don’t think there are… but I guess I’ll have to go back and check again)

Not long ago, I attended a college friend’s wedding. They had an ‘intimate family and wedding party only’ type of thing with the receptions held in a hotel room. A very nice hotel room. This hotel room had a bar.  I was thirsty and the only place to get water was to go behind the bar. This is what I did.

While leaving the bar, my friend’s new husband asked me to get him water. I am not one to turn down a request when asked nicely, so I reached over and filled a cup with water. I asked him if he wanted ice and he said “why yes.” As I was putting ice in his drink, my friend, a fellow brides maid came by and asked if I knew which bottle of coke was open. So I started looking at the bottles for the one I had opened earlier that morning.

Somehow, the groom’s grandfather saw me behind the bar pouring out drinks and assumed it would be OK to put in an order. As I am not so sophisticated a woman that I would turn down odd ‘orders’ from men for the sake of my pride, I hesitantly said: “Alright, I can get you something to drink…”

Here’s the thing: I was friends with the bride and her family. I hadn’t met the groom till the day before, and I sure as hell didn’t care to meet or remember his family, let alone his grumpy grand-pa. He’s from the south, and maybe this is normal in the south, but I’m a Yank wanna-be and will not ever be looked down upon because of my age, sex, or my race. So when this stranger tells me arrogantly and flatly that “I will walk you through my drink since you don’t look like you know what you’re doing.”, I tried my very best not to scowl at him for insulting me WHILE asking for my services.

This young grandparent then proceeded to rattle off a list of instructions using jargon I didn’t know to produce his drink.  I do now realize that ‘finger’ meant my fingers, and not shots– and that he didn’t have a preference the type of whisky he wanted, (I DO know that bourbon and scotch are types of whiskies) — and more pertinently: That he ultimately wanted a whisky coke. But at the time, he was rattling off instructions without giving me any end-point or much respect for that matter. When I finally finished his snooty bourbon-coke: he topped off the experience by literally scoffing:

“No. Put it on the table in front of me since I do not trust you to hand me a drink.”

….

What. The. Fuk.

I gave him his lousy drink, though I would have spat in it if I could have. And hustled out of the bar quickly before temptation possessed me least I reach over and throw the whole solo cup of two fingers and WHISKY  into his face.

Even if I was some old-fashioned southern drink wench, the man could at least be polite to a stranger that he orders drinks from. Does he not realize that the bride is educated in engineering and most likely has friends that are equally educated in engineering? Never mind what he thinks of my educational history, what the doodle happened to good old fashioned common curtsy. I can believe that racist/sexiest/stupid people exist but I thought that they’d at least have the decency to mask it in an age where it is unfashionable to be a pompous elitist.

Tisk “You don’t look like you know what you’re doing” is damn right bitch. I was educated to be an aerospace engineer; I’m nor your docile bar-bitch/go-to-Asian for a free bourbon-coke. If you’d even said ‘whisky and coke’ I would have been able to function just fine. But no, you had to be peculiar about instructions…

“Do not trust you to hand me a drink” your ass. I don’t trust you to drive a car… moron.

I have a friend who was close with me in college. We didn’t spend a lot of time together physically but we were alike in heartbreak. She and I both had been in failed relationships of which were of the emotionally abusive type. She and I both suffered the ‘other woman, but not really’ situation when our respective hearts started dating someone new (while still screwing around with us). We both had more trouble letting go than anyone else saw logical– and continued on despite the fact that we had more self criticism about our relationship than was healthy.

The ex (in both our cases) was life. What do you do when your first life is sick and unfair and oblivious?

I left the country (sooner than I was ready) and refused to get into any serious relationships with anyone. That resulted in that ‘girl’s mind games’ with my current beau who fought hard for me and eventually won me over.

She started internet dating. And had since, been on more dates than I could recall.  And yet there is always something about the collective him that she rejected. Hard-core.

I’m not ripping on internet dating. I know a lot of people who have had successful relationships that spawned from online interactions.  But I think that if you’re looking for the perfect man to come to you when you want him to, I think you’re set up for some kind of heartbreak.

In the past, she had told me that the guys she dated were boys she ‘really liked’ were ‘falling for’ or ‘perfect’ and yet she rejected every one of them. Why? Because she ‘liked him too much’, was ‘already fallen for’, or ‘is too perfect’ for her.

Okay, so I exaggerate a bit– but she has on many occasions rejected men because she liked them too much.

Part of her argument is this: girls like us who have done ‘casual dating’ with someone they were completely in love with should not ‘casually date’ to prevent that previous heartache from happening a second time around. If she were in love with a guy who was not ready, not currently interested in a serious relationship, or wasn’t talking about the future: She would break her own heart and call it the end.

I would think that logically this is not stupid advice…. if you weren’t desperate for company. But she has been looking since I had been looking, nearly five years ago. Rejecting every ‘perfect’ guy because you liked them seems to be counter intuitive to me.

Her latest escapade resulted in tears, as she rides home texting me that she had fantastic 13 hour first and second dates resulting in sleepovers and snuggling. I would think that a 13 hour sleepover would be a good sign. But she tells me she broke up with him because he is not looking for a serious relationship though she is.

I argued: “You know though that casual can become serious? It’s hard to expect guys to go straight into serious.”

In my head, no one wants to go straight into serious unless you are being driven away from (or towards) something. And that if you go on two dates and automatically bring up ‘serious relationship’ with them, that is a red-flag. And even while I was younger, I always was bemused by the concept of  ’only dating with the intention of marrying.’. I vote that sets you up for a lot of expectations in which you and your relationship could fail at. I hate expectations.

She said: “…But I think you’re the exception and not the rule” when I told her casual could turn into something serious, despite either party’s obstacles.

Granted, it’s not very normal to have a perfect relationship between someone who had just gotten out of a long-term commitment and someone who was in love with an unavailable man; but it did work out for me. and where exceptions exist, one should always try. Anyway, it’s not a ‘rule’ that guys who get out of previously serious relationships would not be ready for the next one. It’s like saying ‘the rule’ is all women who break up with their SOs will eat ice cream. Personal preference man….

After some deliberations about how you shouldn’t give up something you want because you are afraid of the possible repercussions, she finally admitted she wanted to be with someone enough that she would put aside her insecurities and reciprocate the offer. I don’t know what happened after that. Something about it being awkward, but I understand that for guys who get rejected, earning back the casual is a hard hump to overcome.

We’ll see.

…. we’ll see.

During my college years, I went through a phase in which I wanted to absorb myself in strangers and new friends because the relationship I had kept a rift between myself and those who loved me.  (It wasn’t that I didn’t still love, or ‘was loved by’ them it was just that I didn’t want to be the burden in their lives that they had to pretend to be happy for.)

In this time, I had made a friend with a young girl named H- from a group of people who were close to each other and several years younger than myself. We were friends for two weeks, and then life took her elsewhere and I was stuck in that same hole I liked.

There were a lot of people I knew in that time, but I somehow felt a close relationship with her.

The first week we spoke about the lovers we shouldn’t have had, and in her tipsy state she pointed out one of the other youngsters to me and with a stupor told me that he was nice to her, and hot, and funny.

I could see none of these things about him. In fact I thought he was far detached from the things I find attractive in a man. But when i looked at the way she watched him, I could see his reflection in her face, and I knew without a doubt that everything she felt was true.

The second week we hung out was her twenty first birthday. Of course, in America, turning 21 was like becoming a superstar. She partied hard, with a bottle of Belvedere clutched to her lungs. By the second hour of her birthday (since she started birthday-eve)  she was plastered. All the while, her shy demeanor prevailed and she tried to drunkenly justify hiding her affections for C-, who, IMO, was trying only partially veil his own sweet concern for her.

The last memory I have of H- was bringing her water as she leaned pleasantly half passed out by the toilet seat  of the small college apartment telling her I had gotten C- and he was going to take her home when she was ready to leave.

Somehow, that look on her face is still clear in my mind’s eye. She was satisfied and she was innocent (or… at least as innocent as a drunk college birthday girl could be) and she said with no reservations.

“You are so nice. You are so so nice.”

I sent her off with her crush that night and I knew that I had ended something. But still, I couldn’t be sad– something about her had already told me she was going to be all right.

On Facebook, C- posted a Top Gear link. I am a fan of the Top Gear page, so even though I do not put C’s stuff up high on my list of priority articles, his showed up on top. He had linked an item to H- and I saw that his profile picture was of the two of them in a cheerful embrace.

And I thought to myself:

“I’m happy they are together.”

Almost five years later, I am happy that a couple of strangers that I had known for a dozen days are happy together. Their romance had been seeded in that exact moment I had met them, and although all I did was fetch H- water and lead C- to that frat party toilet, I still felt like I was a part of their relationship.

I doubt either of them remembered me, or even really care that I exist.

But I’m still so happy that they are happy.

I have decided that the people who say they ‘know people’ (how they think or act or what they want), actually knows nothing.

Due to the recent finger war that is the ‘blame game’ of the government shutdown: Facebook has been plagued with political shouts and crazy outrages. I don’t usually do a political opinion piece because, well… frankly I don’t care about politics enough for someone to come criticize me as a whole based on an opinion I don’t feel strongly about.

Still, sometimes I find accusations from one party to another (Usually republicans, but largely because republicans are more viciously outspoken about their attacks and not because I find republicans themselves to be offensive) kind of…. well… narrow minded.

Today i noticed a friend had put up a photo of a story labeled ‘The $50 Dollar Lesson’.  The story is as follows:

I recently asked my friends’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United States. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So I asked her, “If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?” She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.” Her parents beamed. 

 ”Wow… what a worthy goal,” I told her. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can gust pay him the $50?” I said “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

Obviously this was written by a Republican who thought that outwitting a ‘little girl’ made him sublimely clever.

So my complaints about the paragraphing aside, I was struck by this story on a logical level. First of all, the narrator assumes that the girl is a democrat in need of a $50 dollar lesson…. Second of all, that the narrator equates a single homeless person with what i believe the girl is equating to poverty.

I would assume that a little girl at that age thinks all homeless people do not want to be homeless. She is a child, she should think that. A man at that age, however, should know that there are two kind of homeless people: 1) the people who want to be homeless and 2) the people who do not want to be homeless. The government shouldn’t or at least, couldn’t do anything for the first type, but the men and women who work through their bones and still don’t have enough money to afford any kind of home should not be punished as if they are not trying.

A part of this story that irritates me is that the narrator asserts that the Republican Party’s primary goal as it pertains to charity and unemployment is that people get what they work for. To some degree, this is not untrue. But following the analogy of the story, do you honestly believe that this ‘homeless guy’ would NOT go mow a man’s lawn, pull his weeds, and sweep the driveway if he were offered $50 dollars for the job? If he wanted that money, he would have done it. Instead, this narrator offered a girl of his same class the opportunity that he has not and most likely will never offer to the homeless man. And why? Because she is more capable of physical labor than a man on the street?

Poverty, and being homeless, as I understand it– is rarely a path one desires to take, and if it were as simple as doing work to get out, then I’m sure there would be fewer people bitching about their bills. What I stand for is not the quest to put every man woman or child without a roof into a sturdy home, but to give them more opportunities to get them out of homelessness. Could this mean giving a home to a family that cannot afford one? Yes, Possibly.

I don’t believe in government handouts for the simple sake of charity; but I do practice giving when I can. I have given others my money with the faith that they will spend it on something they need. I have given organizations my money with the faith that they will use it how they claim to. But I do also believe that one should put an effort to earn sympathy. It’s like any other friendship, I will give to those I think will use it, and if all you are doing is taking my money, I shall not be likely to give to you again.

There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to get what they work for.

Does this make me a Republican?

On a side note: I am not much of a fan of the Deomcrats vs. Republican dichotomy that runs today’s politics. Not only for reasons like the 2013 Shut-down for one, but so many other reasons. To have only two such antagonistic views to chose from is such a terrible way to divide the nation.  And what is even worse is that there are very few media channels that just tell you what happens without putting bias spins in either directions. You will watch what you agree with, which just means you will be influenced further into partisans.

More often than not, I hear politicians voice such hateful things toward oppositions just to be heard. It’s not about who is the best candidate, it’s about who is the worst. And that results in the god-awful finger-pointing and judgement that is running the government now.

Children….

But whatever, if the nation’s leaders want to kick and play rough on the school-yard, who am I to stop them?  I just hope that we are better than those few who ‘represent ‘ us. This is why I am an engineer, and not a politician.

PS: I was just thinking to myself recently: “If I were an American movie star that had a ridiculous amount of wealth, I would donate money to the US Treasury in an attempt to support the nation.”  …. I really would.