So I have been a cheat and watched the leak spanish version of Young Justice and I have a few things to say about the series continuity. 

Doesn't follow Cannon, but I don't give a fuck-- the show is awesome. This is spoken as an avid fan of the original comics done by Peter David. Now, all other complaints or praises aside, I have been looking up someone's comments about new members to the team and I had to say, I was really appalled at some of the responses. The rumors of new members have been popping up since the show began, Wonder Girl being cheif among the supposed lineup (who I was a bit shocked that she wasn't in the first place). Here are some of my opinions of the most common (or most irritating) positions that people want to fill.

Beast Boy, Starfire, Raven -- Okay okay, I know that this incarnation of Robin, and Kid flash are both the Teen Titan's secret identities. However, Young Justice is NOT a remake of the Teen Titan's story. This team's Dick is a lot more like sidekick Dick and not Teen Titan's Dick, or he's a lot more emotionally like Tim. And though Wally is definitely not Bart, having someone like Bart would make the show too juvenile. Bart's emotional role is filled in by Captain Marvel who is the adult of the group and acts like a child. Besides, Kidflash didn't make it into the last few TT cartoons anyway, so he might as well be new. As for their membership, WHAT skills would they add? Beastboy, a shifter, would be a repeat of Miss Martian's Role. Starfire, an alien would be much like Miss Martian's role. And Raven, a mind reader, would be like... oh wait, stop me if I repeat myself. So then we get to the complaint that Raven is the supernatural link, I turn to make the argument-- What is Zatana? I thought it was very good of DC to freshen up the characters and give some of the less known sidekicks some TV time. I have to say, I was getting a bit tired of the teen titan lineup. 

Kyle Rayner's Green Lantern -- Are you kidding.... he's much too old. Besides, Kyle's role as a hero is kind of like the role Miss Martian fills. And in addition to that, Kyle was never a sidekick-- in fact, none of the green lanters were ever sidekicks. Seems to defy the point. 

Wonder Girl. -- As a fan of the original, I have to say I was VERY surprised that she was not on the team from the onset. I consider the big three superheroes of the DC nation to be Wonderwoman, Batman and Superman. Wondergirl (who was in the comic version of YJ) would have been a natural female choice. I read online that licensing agreements disallowed it, theren I understand, but when they said it is possible, I grew a healthy fear that she may be a reoccurring character and not a permanent member of the team. Now, the funny thing is I actually do not like Cassie very much-- or if they so choose, Dona... (But I hope it will be Cassie) -- I do however think she would make a very well rounded addition to the team. We'd have another flyer, a better heavy hitter, AND a strong leadership type female charachter. Yes, Artemis is a very strong female charachter, BUT she is more of an insecure troubled rebel, and not a confident female leader. I hated it when Wondergirl took over the JY team in the book-- but her charachter is strong enough to be a new voice of reason in the cartoon. Plus... I want a blonde. 

Artemis/Arrowette -- Yes, of course I was a bit peeved that Artemis was picked over Arrowette. But she plays much the same role but darker. The same spirit. And so far I have very much enjoyed her backstory and the development of her character. The problem with having vastly recognized individuals from a prefabricated comicbook continuity, is that there is very little room for creativity, and Artemis is a good outlet for it. I don't see why the team would need another archer, when arrowette's spirit can be filled with the one we already have. 

S'Lobo and Empress. -- Okay... I liked little lobo... and with the intergalactic war coming soon, I wouldn't complain if he became a new member. In the comics, his personality changed a lot from when he first joined the team and when he finally passed away at the end of the book. BUT-- besides being a rough'em up alien, I'm not sure what kind of powers he would contribute to YJ the cartoon... Empress, as well, is the token colored girl of the team, and Her powers is fairly similar to Zatana's. As we have a reoccuring Rocket, and the team leader being a dark (Atlanterian... but he still looks quite black), I doubt they'd bring in another african american. 

Static -- .... really? Isn't he like... non Atlanterian Kaldur?

Supergirl -- We have a super boy.

Secret -- well, they've already decided to show her but not bring her in. She is very much an important charchter in the comics, but since her cadmus role of bring the team together was transferred to Superboy, I will not complain. I do however, really hope that she and Harm could make more appearances her powers (the green lantern isque of the team) were kind of subsidized by Miss Martian. 

Miss Martian -- Okay... I really didn't like her, and I still don't care for her personality; however, her role in the show is monumental-- as a team nurturer, as a love interest, as a powerhouse. I don't like her, but she should be there.

So what am I saying? I want to add S'lobo and Wondergirl just because I'm a traditionalist. But As it stands, I like the lineup as it is.  

This is like... idle party banter:

Me: Is there an easy way to trick my boyfriend into getting more exercise?
DK: Sex. 

YY: Hey Jean! la la la, Heeey Jean~ Don't be afraid!! oh wait I have to go.
Me: .... D--, I think A-- just tried to sing Hey Jude to me not realizing the name is Jude, not Jean.
DK: I'm impressed she knows that song.

SJ: J--, do you need earplugs?
Me: Actually, yes I do. But I'm not sure when I'll be on the airplane next.
SJ: They aren't for the airplane. They're for the office.

DK: *Comes to my desk and plays the new Dispicable Me trailer. THen he goes away*
Me: .....*A little later* "ZOMG, D-- now I have the Beach Boys, Barbra Ann stuck in my head."
DK:... Why?

FC: *Whoooosh* 'Paper airplane reads 'France Air'. 

FC: "I'll teach you Chinese, April: Yi DAR zhi."
YY: "What?"
FC: "Yi dar zhi."
YY: "..... Hah? What is that!?"
FC: "ALAMAK! April you don't know Chinese!"

Me: "I has an intern!"
YY: "That is not proper English, Jean. I shall teach you how to speak English!"

Torr: "Ba ba ba!"

KK: "This one is sneaky ninja. NINJA"

FC: "Well.... we can take this as a lesson in life. 'Do not try to park your car in a parking spot that has a car already parked in it.'."

Me: "I think I shall go water my intern."

It may just be hard for me to tell when I have set my mark for love so god-damned-high.  

I sent a message to Pride, and it was an odd occasion in which he sends something to me back... Something telling me he needs a connection. and all he said was,

"Sometimes I miss you. But just for selfish reasons."

I think that the act of missing someone is inherently selfish.  There is no way that your missing someone could ever be for their benefit. So here is the best part of it all; by missing him, I'm actually indulging in my own self pleasure. It makes me somewhat happy to know that I have been spending these days on making myself feel better. Just a bit. And then it makes me miss him...  =} Selfish, I know. 

He's been unhappy. Not new news. And to my utmost shock, he hasn't found someone else in the time I've been away. Considering how he was... well... That's an old story now. But someone as beautiful and strong, and talented as him... he'd never stay single for long. he was happy to see me; he even let his guard down and told me he missed me.  

It's hard to let your first love suffer. Especially if you still love him after years of ... well whatever it was he did to me. The moment I saw that text my heart broke. I wanted him to be happy. I really want him to be happy. And that's also very selfish of me. 

There are a lot of reasons why i don't think this is a good idea... right now...

Sigh, over before it's begun. 

This is the worst time of the year for my Pride. I know this... I forgot for a while, but I did know it. Last year I cried so hard because I was helpless, far away and useless. Stayed back for something so worthless, leaving my Pride broken and alone. It was shocking how much it affected me. It was alone, and I knew exactly how hard that was because I too was alone. 

This year I guess with Greed to keep me company, I had forgotten what it was like to feel for Pride. He was alone and it was painful; I felt pain for him... but I had forgotten... I had totally forgotten about him. 

After a few months of being out of contact... I had just assumed he didn't want to be reached. i had just assumed he found someone else to keep him company, that being Greedy was a good alternative to being Prideful. I thought maybe my Pride wanted it that way-- lord knows it's been trying to get rid of me for years and I was the one who selfishly and proudly held it back. I'd been so consumed with Greed though that from this I am begining to worry that I promised him something that he actually wanted. I just figured Pride didn't want what I would sacrifice to him...

But he's been texting me now, and i'm wondering if maybe he was hoping to claim on my promise somewhere down the line.

The next conversation I have with Pride will break his heart. And I hate that I have to do this, but I have to. The thing is he's been let down by all of the people who have claimed that they love him and therein lies my only hesitation. I know he doesn't want me, but I will be another that claimed to have loved him truly and would always be there for him-- and now, in the most sensitive time of the year for him, I will tell him I cannot give him any physical comfort. Sucky part is that I still do love him... but I know he's not going to be able to see that. 

But I can't be with him, not anymore. I tried to hold out but I guess Greed got the better of me. And where we promised that we would keep it simple and casual, something in him changed. I don't have those strong feelings for him that I think he has for me, but I do like him-- which is a league more than I can say for any of the other men in my life besides one. And after knowing how he feels about me, even though we're not together really-- I cannot ... well 'cheat' on him. 

Someone asked me, 'Well think of it this way, who do you rather be with? Then just go with your heart.'
I looked at her and said, 'Without a doubt, I love Pride... but I also know that he will never be with me. And I could love Greed more, but I don't right now.' 

So, the bunnies are still in season, BUT not for long! This year, Chinese New Year is on Sunday and we're ringing in the year of the Dragon! This means a new Chinese Zodiac Profile picture for Jean's facebook. I'll wait till Sunday to change it, Right now it is still last year's Rabbit, Saturday night, VOILA Dragons. I'm already done though, so here's a sneak peak for my buddies on Xanga.

Happy New Year guys. This year was filled with so many strange things for me. But all that matters is that I ended on a high. =}

I'm being Greedy and I'm going to thailand. For four days. Woot. I an actually really excited.

Tomorrow I'm taking a half day for my 2PM flight, though I don't think anyone would miss me at work if I didn't clock out.

Recap, this past two weeks have been. ... uh.... crazy. I've not been sleeping, but for good reasons. and I'm doing very little work. this past weekend, i was the spokes person for my 500 pax company christmas party, i booked a hotel another country, slept all of saturday, i went to a fancy 6 course dinner 70 stories up overlooking the entire city of Singapore, ate an especially-for- jean romantic, home cooked meal (.. .. for the first time. .... ever.), AND i watched the end of Wizard People, Dear Readers for the first time in almost two years. achievement: unlocked.

my mom is looking for some of the soft copies of my art work i made for her last year. she can't seem to find it where i left it in her computer. and i hesitate give her verbal permission to search my pc in the house for fear she may stumble on my extensive porn collection. lol

more to come later. lots more to come.

Should I remain pathetic, thrust upon the ground with my hands in my hair and my bottom lip curled? I could continue in potent self pity such that in my agony and tears, somehow the viciously teasing god will find it in His heart to change his mind one last time. I'm heretofore doomed to spend undying nights and unyielding mornings suffocated by the mysery of my heart's truest actions. And wherefore? Love; it is but a broken boat tossed upon the tempest of every other emotion. An evil she-demon that lurks in the waters like a silver scaled leviathan, love...

I wallow in the heartbreak because it reminds me of how much I had. That the hurt so intense could only mean that my intentions were true, and that my deepest desires were indeed rooted in the very crux of my being. Feel the desperation as it drowns out all other sounds. It is a type of murky black despair that encases the core of which inadiquacy, insecurity and immodesty festers. I'm reminded of the lonliness and realize that I am no longer reaching but clawing and scrambling for a lifeline in this dark, and soundless ocean. A lifeline I held to lightly when I had it in my hands; a connction that if I found agan, I would cling with a deathlike grip and never, ever let go.

Can I will my way out? Should I fight this feeling and break free of the darkness? Or is it that I have allowed myself to become this unhappy because I find imense pleasure in doing so? That in here, there is some comfort in the warmth that comes with the embers of pity and self loathing.

-2005