Popular topic of discussion (and a common excuse for my friend's shitty girlfriends to dump them) is the concept of the career driven life.

I have often heard that people struggle with a Significant Other who wants to choose work over their relationship. It then becomes a vehement issue of, 'should I stay with this great individual I found, and may never find another like again,' or 'should I pursue this job that would pave the way to my dream career?'. A lot of other people have clear preferences-- I commend those people who's work brings them immense happiness. I also applaud people who will never compromise their relationship for their job. But to me, the decision is never going to be 'bias' to either way.

I am a person of logic: this decision, like every other decision, boils down to simple quantitative qualities. Which one promises the greatest rewards? Which one do I see myself with longer? And which one will be more difficult to replace? These three things together will determine my course of action. I'm not making a decision based on the job's cool comfort of the possibly great and possibly distant future. I'm not making a decision based on the relationship's hot and now passion. When all is said and done, it's which of the two can I picture more clearly in my future.

There are plenty of reasons why a girl like me would push aside a relationship in order to be a self sustained individual. For one, the job security and a steady income will provide for you even if a husband can't. Secondly, it's in anyone's best mind to keep oneself busy, and a job is an easy way to keep your hands from being idle. And then, of course, there is always the issue of pride (and arrogance); let's face it~ a lot of ladies want a career just to say they are among those elite who have one. But I never claim to say an independent woman has to be anti-affectionate.

To many, a stable relationship is important in life too. Being comfortable with someone enough to give up a part of your soul just to connect is a rare thing. And though all relationships are not flawlessly guaranteed, there are a few things you can count on in a steady or long-term partnership. Support, connection, ... sex! For all these things you get, you must also be able to give-- and giving is hard work! And sometimes the work to reward is not worth it, that being if you work too much or don't work at all: and if you can't give in equal amounts, then you don't deserve to receive their love. Something like this depends on how you pick your own needs, or their needs and in some ways, some times, choosing a career over a relationship is really selfish. (I know in my life right now, it would be selfish.) It might be the right thing to do in some cases, but it's still about your needs and not about your partners needs. 

I'm choosing to be with Greed next year, not just because I'm in love with him, but also because he had supported me throughout my career and without him, 'good' would not be how I describe my working life (or the rest of my life, for that matter). And while I want to be independent and a strong-willed working woman, the truth is that I wouldn't still be in this job or this country if it wasn't for him. I wouldn't be happy at all if it wasn't for him. He had already given up a lot to be with me, and I know I would give up a lot to be with him. And however one sees it, I simply can envision a future with Greed much more clearly than I can envision a future with my company. (Though I do like my company and the people I work with now very much. Just not as much.)

I still hope that I won't have to choose. Everyone wants to have the best of both worlds. But if it so happens that I must decide between him and them,--

--then I will definitely choose him.

"Yes, I am a foreigner. No, I don't hang out much at Dempsy. Yes, I have been to Dempsy. No, I'm not from Singapore..."

Mom: "Moral of the story: if at first you don't like what a sales rep says. hang up and call again peep are so badly trained, at some point you get what you want."

This morning i considered letting go of my judgement over you. Then you went ahead and affirmed my belief that you are monumental tool

I just read through most of the front page post, about a girl who thinks she's a boy... And while the blog itself is endearing and underscores a lot of what is wrong with people who have set expectations in society, I couldn't help but think: I don't believe what you are describing is considered Gender Dysmorphia. 

It is in my understanding that GD is an actual condition in which your hormones, and biology and psychology do not pair up with your physical genitalia-- you literally feel trapped by your own body, no matter who accepts you and who does not. Given that as the condition, I wonder then what separates 'Gender Dysmorphia' and 'Tomboys'.

I thoroughly consider myself the latter.

Since GD is being partially debated upon as an official mental disorder, I suppose then there IS no right answer to whether or not she's suffering GD. It all depends on your own experience, and how extreme your reaction to other opinions seem to be. In my case, I never considered myself hindered by my sex as it relates to my interests.

Other girls didn't like rough sports. Other girls wasted time on shopping, makeup and shoes. Other girls didn't play video games for hours and if they did, it was fucking SIMs. Other girls didn't like fighting. Other girls didn't like science fiction movies, or cowboys, or comic books. Other girls didn't like lego.

When it came time for me to sit down and analyze why I was so different from my stereotype. My automatic assumption was that there was something wrong with them.

A part of what I find odd about this post is that she claims she's suffering from an affliction that implies one person (the individual with GD) is helpless and must suffer no matter how much one tries to change where you are or how you feel. But what she describes are more external social pressures and stigmas that she can easily stand up to, or walk away from. If she comes from a society in which they shun father-daughter outings, look down on the caste of women, reserve college for men and the housework for women, sneer at women with stressful careers  discourage feminism (in it's truest form, not the super fem-superiority that i keep hearing about), and chastise little girls for playing with things that are outside of their expected gender roles, then i have news for her: Your hometown is trapped in the timesuck that is the 1800s; and is treating their community like a shanty from medieval age. 

Get the fuck out. 

More than just the sex, if you really think that society can dictate to you who you should be and what you can't be, then you deserve to be thrown in that net and stay there. What you do and what you like shouldn't change because of what you're expected to do and what you're expected to like. Ingenuity would not exist and humanity would be doomed had that been the case.

If you can't change what life has given to you, then find a way to make the most of it. Often times I forget I'm a woman, and many times I don't think that I need to know or care if I am. In my profession, with my friends, and with my family-- my gender doesn't factor in to what makes me myself. The only time my sex comes into play-- are Lady's Nights, where my drinks are shit tons cheaper for no good-reason all together.

(Oh, and my sex also comes into play when I'm having sex, but that's a given.)

Since my age of fops and fights, I have gone forward and become an Aerospace Engineer, enjoy Scotch on ice, play more Steam than anyone I know, fire revolvers straighter than the boys who taught me to fire,  and crave crazy sex almost every three hours (and sweet sex once or twice a month). 

And none of those things would change should my netherparts flip themselves inside out.  I've always wondered what it would be like to be a boy, but that's more out of idle curiosity rather than envy-- and I've always figured I could go eat out some chick, but I like the stick a lot more. 

Though I regress, while writing this I thought more about the qualitative reasons someone will be considered GD-- and have been inspired to research the topic more. It will be another post for another time. Meanwhil:

So I guess my preconceived opinion of the difference between Tomboys and Gender Dysmorphia--

Tomboy: Someone who enjoys doing things traditionally associated with boys and has no interest in those 'girly things'.
Gender Dysmorphia: Someone who disassociates themselves with their sex, and most likely wishes they had someone else's body.

I am now going to do more research and contemplation to decide how I feel about Gender Dysmorphia and how I see it in my life...

So someone who subscribed to me, had this list from TheOneWhoSaysItAll. And I was trapped the moment I read it. I'm such a sucker for questionnaires 

1. If you could make a 30 second speech to the entire world, what would you say?
    At the moment, it would be something about bringing Young Justice back. (Or protecting it from cancellation!)

2. If you were going to die at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm?
     ... Likely leaving a voicemail for my boyfriend.

3.How do you really KNOW anything for sure?
   I consider myself highly intuitive. The only time I know anything, is when I can feel it. Even if I study a lot, and reviewed and comprehended the material throughly, I may not know something until I get the 'click'.

4. If you had all the money in the world but still had to have some kind of job, what would you choose to do?
I would like to write a comic. I would also like to be a video-game tester. Or a professional traveler.

5. When you’re 90 years old, what will matter most to you?
    I can't actually tell you that till I turn 90.

6. What do you regret most so far in life?
  I regret very little in life. And what I do regret, I generally don't remember later. 

7. How can you apply the lesson you learned from that regret to your life TODAY?
   Don't regret. And life will go on to be even better than if you did.

8. What would you change if you were told with 100% certainty that God does not exist? Or if you don’t believe in God, that he does exist?
   Hhuhh... the way I live I consider the existence or non-existence of god inconsequential to my actions. If he does not exist, I will still strive to be moral according to my understanding of morality. And the proof says he does exist, then I will continue to praise him when I know he leads me, and continue on without much change... 

9. If you lost everything tomorrow, whose arms would you want to run into? Does that person know how much they mean to you?
   Depends on what 'everything' is... I'm asuming everything does not include the person you run to. Which would then mean I would run to Greed. If it includes the loves in my life; then is there someone to run to? This can be a deeply philosophical question-- with everything lost, then there is no one you would want to run to. It's either Greed or my mom. And yes, they know I love them. 

10. Do you fear death? If so, do you have a good reason?
   No. And I don't really see why anyone should. 

11. What would you change if you knew you were NEVER going to die?
   I would most likely change the way I spend money... or the way I make money. 

12. If you were at heaven’s gates, and God asked “you why should I let you in?”, what would you say?
   So.... I don't actually believe in life after death. And I also don't believe in rationalizing with God, he knows the right answer... and you ask him humbly for something he'll give it to you anyway. And anyway, I wouldn't think he would be so naive to think that anything you did on earth would buy you the right to go into heaven. But if I had to pay the toll to the man on the boat on the river Styx, then I wold say 'because I made many moral mistakes and learned something monumental from them.'

13. When will you be good enough for you? Is there some breaking point where you will accept everything about yourself?
   A questionare that targets insecurities. I'm proud of myself, and I'm happy where I am. If there is an occasional insecurity, it's about how often I am uninterested in things-- and how many times I wish I could pay more attention to the details and be more informed and intelligent. 

 
14. Is the country you live in really the best fit for you?
   Not at all. and I have may reasons to say so. aaaaaAnd this is the first question that I thought was pertinent to me! -- all the other ones are just fun. 

15. What would people say about you at your funeral?
    Only nice things, I suspect. No one really ever says anything mean about people at their funeral. 

16. What small thing could you do to make someone’s day better?
   I firmly believe in the 'Thank you' and small compliments. 

17. (If you believe in god) would your relationship with god change it all if you were told with 100% certainty that he was actually a she?
    Not really. I guess I always imagined God as being a presence and not a person. So, sex isn't really a thing that changes how I see religion. Though, if everyone knew that the God in the bible was a she with complete certainty; that would greatly change the american views of legalized lesbians... And the religious zell for the demise of same-sex marriages would just be a farce. 

18. What do you believe stands between you and complete happiness?
     Haha. Oddly enough, a direct line through the center of the earth. My happiness is in bootcamp in Alabama right now. =} 

At some point, I realized I should 'buy apps from'l'donate to' companies I like so that they can make more cool things.

Theologian's put up an article about how women were getting fat because they were lazy and doing less housework. I'm not arguing with that, it may be true. It would also explain why men were fat and lazy to begin with. 

What interested me was this link to an article by the NY times magazine about how Women can't do pullups.

It went on to mention a University in Dayton did a study in which 17 women who couldn't do a pull up, went ahead and train three days a week for three months in order to do a pull up. And at the end of that three months, astoundingly, only four of the seventeen were able to pull it off. (PUNNY!)

In college I had some friends who had put a chin up bar between their lofts in the dorm. I remember one time a female friend of mine was trying to get down from the lofts by lowering herself from the top bunk with the chin-up bar. She came down so fast that I was worried she may break her jaw. She could not even slow her decent from the top of the bar to a hanging position. Not being able to get all the way up, to some extent, I can understand. But not being able to lower yourself safely? 

A rash of other articles online clearly rebuked the NY times research, and I then saw a handful of videos of women doing graceful (and slightly intimidating) pullups. But it led me to wonder, is it really that hard for the majority of women to do this single exercise?

Besides being a good general gauge of your balance, core muscle control, and back and upper body strength-- it is also a good survival skill to have. It is in my opinion that everyone no matter what sex or age (within reasonable limits {I'm not about to ask an eighty year old to do a pull up [though I have seen one do a few.]}) should be able to lift their entire body weight up at least once. If you ever slip and hang from a ladder, or catch yourself falling off of a cliff, or need to climb up the side of a building while being chased by flesh eating zombies, you will be able to save yourself. 

I can do 4 proper pull-ups (or about 6 chin-ups) pretty regularly. Really pushing it, I can do about ten in a row-- but then my arms completely quit working and remain in rebellious jelly state for a few minutes after. Ladies, how many can you do? If you can't do any, do you ever want to be able to?

And guys too, I guess. =}  

I read an article on Datingish (yes, it is possible that Datingish is the only ring I read anymore) in which a woman was complaining about being in a Long Distance relationship with a guy who wanted her to come to him and refused to move on her behalf. She had to drive the whole hour from her home to his to see him, then back to her children.

That made me wonder: is a 'Long Distance' relationship defined by how long it takes to get from one heart to the next heart, or by how far the gap is between one heart and the next heart. And either way, when is the space between far enough to consider the relationship Long Distance classified?

It's not a universal constant-- I expect everyone's concept of distance to be wholly unique to themselves. In fact, it may just boil down to how big a person considers their world. To the Datingish woman, Long Distance is one hour. To me, one hour is three-quarters of the time it takes for me to get to work.

I'm not going to condescend: having to travel an hour in any method of transportation kind of stinks. You're tired, your plans can't be too open ended, when you get to your destination you're most likely frustrated. And yeah, it would suck if you were the one making the one hour effort while the sweetheart waits like a princess in the tower: I know, I did a one hour commute to see my man at his house for the first few months we were dating. But it took me 90 minutes to get from my front door to his, By Datingish lady, that's Long Distance plus some! But the thing is, that trip was only a total of 12 miles. We are even in the same city!

My boyfriend and I are going to be doing the Distance thing again. In a few months, I will be moving for work three and a half hours (200 mi) away from my love. And you know what, I'm really excited that I can work so close to him. It's a mere 3 hour drive.

Right now, I live an average of a 25 hour flight (c10,000 mi) from him.

So I hope that no one will argue that opposite extremities of the earth would qualify as Long Distance. But it sort of leads to some debate where the term becomes applicable. My boyfriend says it is any distance that requires a flight, but I like to think that Americans can experience Distance relationships even when on the same coast.

So I take it it is some combination of the two where the time and the distance spanned create a value. And just to be fair, I have also added a mode of transportation for my boyfriend.  here are some possible categories that could be used to calculate a Distance or not Distance relationship.

Distance

Commute time

base Method of transportation (the slowest reasonable way to transport. public bus/train. shuttle. must drive. Can fly. must fly.)

My aproximated values for minimum qualifying Distance relationships.

Scenario basic, (reglardless of other factors, if any single trait is breached, it's long distance)
Distance: 1,000 mi
or
Commute time: 8 hours
or
Simplest type of reasonable Mode of transportation: Must fly (crosses over a large body of water)

Some practical distance relationships

Distance Scenario 1 (Charlotte NC, to NY,NY)
D: 643 mi
C: 9 hours
M: Can Drive

Distance Scenario 2 (Seoul, Korea to Tokyo, Japan)
D: 718 mi
C: 2.25 hours
M: Must Fly

Distance Scenario 3 (Kansas City, MO to Phillidelphia, PA)
D: 1,125 mi
C: 2.83 hours
M: Can drive (but the time is calculated from a flight-- you're still given the OPTION to drive)

That being said, Of course I think that any relationship should be defined by those in the relationship, and it makes sense to me that you can define a 'Long Distance' relationship as 'any relationship in which you can't see your honey whenever you want' -- and to some people, that distance is 60 miles. It depends on how big your world is, and what you as a couple consider to be an unreasonable distance. It just so happens, that mine and my boyfriend's concept of location is ridiculously large.

Still, long distance relationship or not, it kind of sucks not to be in the arms of my love at all times. I look forward to moving closer when the time comes.

Where would you draw the line for the long distance thing?

So in response to the Datingish: Men Who Turn the on button off...

And then promptly decided that bashing the writing style and the 'turn off's was a shit ton of fun. So I'm going to continue (Just cause this post made me laugh)

1) Like talking-- okay, so it'll be weird having a full blown conversation about monkeys while in the middle of intercourse, but I'm finding with my current B', we do talk a bit. It lightens the mood and keeps us with each other. And no, not the dirty bed type talk -- but that is pretty fun too.

2) If my boyfriend got off before me for some reason or another, I'm not about to bitch about my needs while he's in la-la-land. My partner is happy, this means I'm happy-- and proud, and by no means 'pissed off'. Unsatisfied, maybe-- but pissed off..? not me. Though I may just be lucky and have a man who can usually (sometimes not) last till I'm done once (or twice). If not, then I give him 20 minutes then I jump him again. (He's not complained about this arrangement yet)

3) Wtf...who obsesses over their mama in such a way that it would interfere with your sex appeal..? If he goes out with his homies, and I have to stay in, then I kick it with the PS3 and he'll just bloody well have to wait his turn when he gets back.

4)hahaha..... I must be at the age where I want my man to go work for a while. Because that usually means money. If I don't get touched- then I touch him. the LAST thing i want to do is go seek attention from him or any one else (which I assume is what the point implies) simply because i'm so insecure that I would crave that physical reassurance by way of skin to skin contact especially since I know he WORKS. Clingy, to me, is one of those huge turn offs.

5)Maybe I'm just a bombshell at sex, but I like it when he compares me to his ex girlfriends-- gives me some know. Then again, I'm fascinated by the history of relationships per person-- I even like hearing the good stories of exes. Gives me some foundations on what I should expect and what I should do (or not do). Learn from other's mistakes, you ain't got enough time to make them all yourself.

6) yeah, okay, the absent type is really a turn off. No argument there.

7) lol. 'The type that changes moods like their underwear' -- so... you mean like, never? have your exes flipped you inside out and worn you the next week? It's okay, the other side is clean.-- then again  I agree, some stability please (saying that after I spent 6 years dating  a man with bi-polar disorder).

7) ..... like what... you want the thing to look like an eel? okay, don't answer that. so like, I assume you mean an unshaven bush cause if a boy is gonna try and impress me by shaving their shaft I'd laugh in their face if the razor cuts their nutsack. I know it's painful, but shaving your dick sounds like a bad bad bad idea and it serves your right for trying. I'm a fan of the trim, IF you're naturally fur-less-- someone with a lot of body hair though,better have some rough to work with.

8) Lol.... yes, men who brag about their penis size to everyone would be annoying. "hey momma! my dick is HUGE!" 

9) So, when someone says  'men who make the pussy dry up' my automatic mental imagery conjured involves a bunch of guys standing over some girl's spread with a hairdryer. "Zhoooooooooooom" (Or whatever noises hairdryers make)

10)  and vomit, vomit is a turn off.